Kibbutz Shomrat
D.N. Ashrat 25218
ph: 054-561-4680
yehudab
This page is a collection of notes that were sent to me by members of the family, and includes the last, updated version of the eulogy that I read at the funeral.
November 28, 2011
I am deeply saddened by the loss of Savta yet feel comfort in knowing that she was surrounded by loved ones.
I will never forget her sense of humor and her sassy demeanor. She was a strong role model of an independent woman who always had particular opinions on world affairs and current events. I learned a lot from her because of the stories she would tell and the discussions we would have sitting around the table or the tv. She helped me understand the importance of family.
I will remember her need for order and routine. I think I get this from her. When I was younger I flooded her bathroom from taking a shower and I thought she might have a heart attack. As she grew older I noticed she became more flexible. I will never forget watching Aya walk across the middle of the dining room table during a family dinner. She said nothing.
I have always shared her love for lobster. The second to the last time I visited I took pride in taking her out for a lobster dinner. It took some persuasion and she was insistent that she wouldn't eat much. However, she was able to eat a serving of lobster bisque, an entire lobster and all of the sides. She could never pass up a lobster dinner. Now when I eat lobster I will think of her.
She made the best ice tea but I always had to remember not to stand in front of the refrigerator for too long. When we would visit we would bring her expensive vodka and she would always swear that the cheaper stuff was just as good if not better. I enjoyed having a drink with her at 5pm during my visits to Israel. On Saturday after hearing of her passing my mother, Jessica's mother, Jessica and I all had a vodka toast at 5 o'clock that evening.
When Isadora was born on Savta's birthday we were so happy that they would share this connection. When I spoke to Savta for the last time, just over a week ago, she talked about Isadora and referred to the photo that Zohar had placed of Izzie on her bedside. She shared how she was saddened by the fact that the "doctors would likely never meet her." There was an implied understanding of her own sadness. I responded by telling her that one day in her honor we would give Isadora her Hebrew name, Shoshana. We now plan to do this on Isadora's first birthday. Savta was fully present during our final conversation and this is how I will always remember her.
Thank you to everyone who has loved her and taken such great care of her.
Love,
Jamie
Dear Yehuda and family,
We're all so sorry and shaken by the news - your mother really was one of those people
who seemed eternal...
Jerry emailed me his memories of your mother - here are a few of my own...
I think of Shosh with a big smile; I smell the cigarette smoke, hear the tinkling ice in her glass, and I'm instantly sitting at her table listening to her wonderfully low voice telling me what's on her mind, her Philadelphia accent still strong after all these years...
But as I sit here in Oregon and absorb the news, it is also the black and white photograph of Shosh and Ben watching a parade that comes to mind: both look almost regal, long coats and fashionable hats, Shosh with perfect makeup, black pumps and a Hollywood glamour to her - even in the aged picture, her vibrancy is palpable.
As a child, it was that image that I held - in her perfectly ordered house and, to me, very American and sophisticated ways. It was her hospitality in Israel though which I most appreciate - especially the difficult days when I was visiting in order to get my brother back to the U.S when he was so unwell. Shosh was my confidant, my resource person, and my support through that trying time. I know she had a difficult relationship with Duddy and resented him tremendously, but she was able to compartmentalize that and was always gracious and accommodating to me. Shosh was that way three years ago when I visited. I remember sitting around then at the dining room table and her saying proudly, " I must have done something right!" as she looked at her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all celebrating Aya's birthday together. It's such a wonderful memory.
As Jerry noted, both his mother and Shosh were women of their time but would have, I am sure, led very different lives if they had been born in the next generation. I can imagine that, with all their energy and intelligence ( and organizational skills) they would have been enormously successful in many professions. But I remember, too, the great pride Shosh had in teaching Hebrew school and, in Israel, volunteering. More than a job though, it was her devotion to Ben that seemed complete and to complete her. I remember my mother saying Ben was the "hot" Beinin of the three boys - and that many young, ardent Zionist chanichot were interested in him. He chose and was chosen by Shosh. It is so fitting that they, finally, lie next to each other again.
Big hugs to all of you - I wish I could be there. Love, Chava
November 28, 2011
Dear Yehuda,
I was very saddened to learn of Shush's passing. As you know my memories of Shush were from the eyes of a young child. Despite my youth I remember a pretty young women with dark hair, a warm smile who was engaging and made me feel happy and pleased to be in her presence.
It is difficult to explain the meaning of life but I am certain she and your dad's memory will be ongoing, and their values and what was meaningful to them has been meshed in yours and your siblings lives and will be fostered in future generations.
Your family is in my thoughts.
Take care.
All my love to you.
Gloria
November 27, 2011
So sad for all, Lisa I will always remember her, she touched each of us. I wish you all were closer so you could feel the hugs I am sending your way.....
Love to all,
Jennifer
November 27, 2011
Dear Jeff,
Sorry to hear about Mom. It was so good to have seen her a few months back. I wish we could live closer & see each other more than every 40 years. Please come tovisit with us the next time you get to the states. She will be missed by all. Did she ever get to live at the Kibbutz? I'm glad you all toasted her the way she would have liked you to.
Hope your family is all doing well.
Love to Chaya.
Barbara & Marty
November 27, 2011
Lisa, Jeffrey, Joey,
I am so sorry to hear this. I have always looked up to Aunt Rose and enjoyed her wit and humor. I am so glad I was able to see her and introduce Jessica to her when we visited. I hope there is some comfort in knowing we are thinking of you at this very sad time.
Eileen
דברים שהייתי רוצה שהילדים שלי ידעו על סבתא שלי
1. היה לה שיער כהה – הוא אף פעם לא היה לגמרי לבן, אולי רק קצת אפור.
2. היו לה עיניים שהתקפלו בקצה שלהן וכשהיא חייכה הפנים שלה היו נהיים עגולים.
3. היא היתה נמוכה והיה לה קול עבה.
4. היא שתתה וודקה עם מים – כל יום.
5. היא עישנה סיגריות מאז שאני יכולה לזוכרת.
6. עם הייתם משאירים לידה עוגה מספיק זמן היא היתה אוכלת אותה – גם אם היא היתה אומרת שהיא לא רוצה.
7. היא אהבה לובסטרים, שרימפס, ושווארמה.
8. היא היתה משחקת סוליטר עם קלפים אמיתיים, רואה המון CNN, ואהבה אותי עם שיער ארוך.
9. היא נולדה באמריקה ודיברתי איתה באנגלית, חוץ מלקרוא לה סבתא.
10. היא נתנה לי לגור איתה כמעט שנה.
11. היא אהבה את סבא.
12. היתה לה דעה על כל דבר ולא היה איכפת לה להגיד אותה – גם אם זה אומר להעליב מישהו בתהליך.
13. היא היתה נחמדה למי שהיא אהבה. את מי שהיא לא אהבה, לא ממש היה לה איכפת ממנו.
14. היא היתה עקשנית וידעה מה היא רוצה.
15. היא אהבה לרכל ולשמוע סיפורים וכמובן שגם לה היו סיפורים לספר חזרה.
16. היא היתה סבתא טובה....
17. והיא היתה הסבתה שלי.
Following is the eulogy that I read over our mother's grave. It consists of the thoughts and writings of Joey, Jerry , Chava as well as myself.
Our mother's great grandson Netah (Liat's middle child- aged 8) opened the ceremony by reading the following passage from the Book of Ecclesiastes 3 1-8.
I feel compelled to record here for posterity how my 8-year-old grandson fearlessly and in a completely matter-of-fact way asked, "Is there a eulogy?" I replied, yes there is, here, read this!"
He took the printed page and said that he needs to practice, and so he did. When the time came to deliver, he did so beautifully in his angelic voice it what can only be described as a most touching tribute to our mother by her great grandson.
Here is the English translation:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
לַכֹּל, זְמָן; וְעֵת לְכָל-חֵפֶץ, תַּחַת הַשָּׁמָיִם.
עֵת לָלֶדֶת, וְעֵת לָמוּת;
עֵת לָטַעַת, וְעֵת לַעֲקוֹר נָטוּעַ.
עֵת לַהֲרוֹג וְעֵת לִרְפּוֹא,
עֵת לִפְרוֹץ וְעֵת לִבְנוֹת.
עֵת לִבְכּוֹת וְעֵת לִשְׂחוֹק,
עֵת סְפוֹד וְעֵת רְקוֹד.
עֵת לְהַשְׁלִיךְ אֲבָנִים, וְעֵת כְּנוֹס אֲבָנִים;
עֵת לַחֲבוֹק, וְעֵת לִרְחֹק מֵחַבֵּק.
עֵת לְבַקֵּשׁ וְעֵת לְאַבֵּד,
עֵת לִשְׁמוֹר וְעֵת לְהַשְׁלִיךְ.
עֵת לִקְרוֹעַ וְעֵת לִתְפּוֹר,
עֵת לַחֲשׁוֹת וְעֵת לְדַבֵּר.
עֵת לֶאֱהֹב וְעֵת לִשְׂנֹא,
עֵת מִלְחָמָה וְעֵת שָׁלוֹם
Shoshana Beinin daughter of Ida and Chaim Pitluck was born January 7, 1924 in Philadelphia, and died November 25, 2011 in Kibbutz Shomrat. Growing up in South Philadelphia in a religious household, our mother always recalled how she was a tomboy, and was always getting into some kind of adventure with her friends; not quite the paradigm of a religious mind set.
My mother was a proud and simple person. She had a strong sense of duty and suppressed many of her own aspirations, first for the sake of her parents, and then to support our father and our family. She was straightforward and honest and didn’t have many fancy things or fancy tastes, though she learned to appreciate them later in her life. She traversed a very far distance from the world of her parents , from the Jewish-Italian ghetto in South Philadelphia of her youth, to the New Jersey suburbs, and finally to the upscale neighborhoods of Ramat HaSharon and Hertzliya in Israel. It was a big effort and significant accomplishment for someone who grew up in the shadow of the Depression and the Shoah.
As a teenager she was pictured in the newspaper preparing meals for striking workers from the Socialist Worker’s Party. She also recalls being one of the few girls who did not cut class to go to Frank Sinatra concerts. At that time she became involved Hashomer Hatzair. In the meantime WWII broke out, the older Beinin had left the movement as a result of political disagreements, and she remained, drawn to the older of the remaining Beinins, Ben Zion, her future husband, who was at that time the head of “Ken Hachoresh” (the branch leader of the Hashomer Hatzair local chapter) in the Bronx.
As the War waged on, Ben Zion was eventually drafted into the army and shipped off to Europe, not before marrying Shoshana two days before D-Day. During the War our mother was employed as a welding inspector at the Philadelphia Shipyards, where large warships were being built for the War effort. Her husband returned from the War with three purple hearts and as a profound pacifist.
Following WWII our parents managed to acquire certificates to make aliya, and settled into Sabinia, one of the northern suburbs of Haifa. I remember my mother’s stories about the neighborhood. At that time, our mother worked as a secretary in the Haifa Oil Refinery, while our father studied civil engineering at the Technion. I remember my mother’s very vivid recollection about the Irgun attack at the refinery gates and the Arab response, as well as how an Arab colleague took her home on his motorbike following the explosion.
With the outbreak of the War of Independence, our father and his pregnant wife returned to the United States. Shosh gave birth to Joey during the years our father was finishing his engineering degree at the University of Pennsylvania and working nights at the post office. Joey says she used to speak to him as a friend. It’s a habit they never broke. Basically, she treated her children as adults who could understand complex things from a very young age. She trusted our judgments, even when she didn’t agree with them. So we learned to think and act like an adults, but without the burden of adult responsibilities for several years.
As the mother of three children, realizing the American dream of summer camp for the kids, there were not many alternatives other than Camp Shomria. And from the late ‘50’s and for most of the ‘60’s our mother volunteered to cook in the camp kitchen while her children received a thorough HaShomer education. [Speaking over our mother’s grave, I added “brainwashing” as a parenthetic observation-Yehuda]
Our mother had studied towards a teacher’s degree at Graetz College in Philadelphia, and after moving to New Jersey, worked as a Hebrew teacher in the Metuchen and South Orange Jewish Community centers. Following the aliya of her two oldest children, Shosh and Ben Zion followed suit. Our mother was active in the Hadassah Organization, serving as the treasurer and educational director for many years, as well as working in the Raanana second hand shop, which was an ESRA [English Speaking Resident’s Association] project.
Joey wrote: My mother taught us to respect the value of hard physical labor and to be proud of my willingness and capacity to do it. My mother taught us to love the Hebrew language and Tanach and Hebrew culture; and raised us in a secular environment. In fact, it was our mother’s historical approach to the TANAKH that kept the book relevant and interesting! And even though we were forced as children to attend synagogue every week, there should be no doubt that she was a sworn atheist. [Joey’s original statement was, “She taught me not to believe in God”]
My mother taught us not to accept what other people said as truth; to find out for myself, to say the truth as I saw it and not to back down if others disagreed.
Chava wrote: I think of Shosh with a big smile; I smell the cigarette smoke, hear the tinkling ice in her glass, and I'm instantly sitting at her table, listening to her wonderfully low voice telling me what's on her mind, her Philadelphia accent still strong after all these years... What an amazing woman your mother was - I will always think of her with admiration: for her style, her strong sense of right and wrong, and her incredible devotion and pride in her family. I remember, too, the great pride Shosh had in teaching Hebrew school and, in Israel, volunteering. More than a job though, it was her devotion to Ben that seemed to complete each other. I remember my mother saying Ben was the "hot" Beinin of the three boys - and that many young, ardent Zionist chanichot [members of Hashomer Hatzair] were interested in him. He chose and was chosen by Shosh. It is so fitting that they, finally, lie next to each other again.
Jerry wrote: I also remember the visit when I brought Scotch rather than Vodka...she was very gracious about that, but I never made that mistake again... Shush loved Ben deeply. While she did not wear black every day I think she did mourn Ben every day, but she took great solace in her children, grand children, and great grandchildren. You all are, and will be a living tribute to the love and idealism of Shush and Ben. It is comforting to know that they are together on Kibbutz Shomrat.
Kibbutz Shomrat
D.N. Ashrat 25218
ph: 054-561-4680
yehudab